Legacy
THE BACKSTORY:
In 2013, in a small café, my aunt made a statement which began a decade long journey for me: “I found my father.” This unexpected comment changed the history of my maternal family, hardworking German folks who originated as farmers and ended up in the steel town of Rosenberg in northern Bavaria. My great-grandfather Martin spent his life in various positions for Maxhutte, a massive steel mill which at one time employed around 10,000 and offered a decent living. Martin had a son and three daughters, one of them my grandmother, who, at nineteen, married a German career soldier in 1933.
The Nazi party was on the rise, and within the next five years, my grandfather Felix, a Lance-Corporal, was gone more than he was home. He fathered three girls, including my mother. One day he returned home from deployment and found his wife pregnant but not by him.
The Third Reich propaganda machine had ramped up. As we all know, Hitler wanted to create a race of superior minds and bodies. Originally the brainchild of Heinrich Himler, the Lebensborn program encouraged young women with the right looks and goals to couple with officers who also had the blonde hair, stature, and physical strength to create his Aryan race. For whatever reason, my grandmother participated. Her husband became furious, railed against the program and was sent away. Not long after, he took a gun to his head.
My grandmother ended up as a single mother of six children. They were extremely poor. Oma worked as a seamstress and cleaned offices to make ends meet. As the oldest, my mother had responsibility of the household. After the war ended, she took off for Frankfurt, found work at a printing shop and met the man who would become my father. When she found herself pregnant, she refused marriage, handed me to her mother and took off with a dance troupe to the middle east. My beloved Oma raised me for six years. My mother eventually met and married an American Army officer who adopted me. I grew up without memories of my biological father, without knowing the “other half of me.”
Turns out, my aunt and I felt a similar void. In Sieglinde’s case, she always felt as if she didn’t belong within the family, and insisted she had a different father. In my case, I had not only lost a father but my heritage as well.
So when my aunt opened up with the secret she had carried for much of her life, I was prompted to seek out my father. As her story, and the true history of my family came to light, I embarked on a journey to establish the lost relationship with my father, and perhaps understand my mother better. Our relationship had been fraught with friction and I wanted to find healing. In 2016, I rang my father’s doorbell. Sadly, my mother had died in 2013. She never knew of my discovery.
THE QUEST:
The journey took four years of travel and research, writing and rewriting. In December of 2020, I typed The End on my seventh revision and began to query literary agents. A year later, I switched to small publishers. To clarify, agents who agree to take on your publication typically approach the Big 5: Hachette Book Group, HarperCollins Publishers, Macmillan Publishers, Penguin Random House, and Simon & Schuster. These houses are credited with over 80% of the U.S. trade book market. Those authors you love year after year? Huge moneymakers. The Big 5.
Anyone else lucky to get published is handled by smaller, or Independent, publishers. Many writers also self-publish, easy enough with KDP (AMZ). My two children’s books are self-published. But for this story, I wanted more. After my queries ran dry in the aftermath of the pandemic, I started ferreting out the best small publishers for my type of book. At least when I submitted, I usually heard back from them, unlike the agents who “ghosted” me, mostly due to time: so many queries! Many who opened to submissions would shut down after a few months. It appears everyone who had a book in them made good use of their time during isolation, and were now filling up inboxes. I have a small stack of rejections: my type of story was simply not in their wheelhouse, along with encouragement to keep looking for the right partner.
At the end of 2022, I shelved the book, for various reasons. (another blog, maybe). Then, in January of this year, I submitted to a press I had been following for a while. Impressed with their online presence, I sent a query. They responded with a full manuscript request. On April 11th, I received a contract offer. Included was the evaluation of my book, and I felt that the reader had understood perfectly what I had set out to accomplish. I felt… home.
AND NOW WHAT?
Once a manuscript is accepted, it can take a year or more to reach publication. Right now my pub date is March 0f 2026. I’ll be working with a developmental editor, a copy editor, a cover artist, and will put together a “launch team”. ARCs, (advanced reader copies) will be sent out, blurbs and reviews will be solicited; giveaways, pre-sales, podcasts, appearances will be scheduled. Promotion, build-up, and release. Lots of work. I will need support. If you have friends or family who love to read and are looking for a story that delves deeply into family, identity and self-acceptance, or WWII buffs looking to understand how simple folk got sucked into Hitler’s demented vision, this story will satisfy. Several chapters have been revised, condensed, and published as essays. Links are on my website.
When my aunt opened up about her past, she told me emphatically “I want the truth to be known.” This will be part of her legacy. Sadly, my father passed away on March 5th. The book is also a legacy to him.
I look forward to telling their stories.
