Let it Go
Firstly, thank you to the new email subscribers; I promise I won’t overwhelm your inbox😊. I use this blog to ruminate, enlighten (maybe), and also to inform, about once a month.
A new insight… After a couple of festivals and watching people walk off holding my freshly signed book, I had a funny flutter in my belly. It came to me that I was feeling separation anxiety. Now that my story is “out in the world” I have noticed a distinct shift in attachment.
Let me try to explain.
For ten years the book was in transition of becoming. First came pages and pages of notes from interviews and research. In them I needed to find a starting point, which became simple: my aunt’s confession. Then came a “shitty first draft” (Anne Lamotts’ words from her excellent book on writing titled Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life), after which followed several revisions before I even attempted to query for an agent. During this time I took several writing courses.
A year later I went through the manuscript again which included several more revisions, gave up on agents and started sending to Indie publishers. Another year went by. Finally, at my giving up (I really don’t need this s**t) point, I sent the story to a press I had been following, and bingo! An acceptance. Although their excellent editors added and tweaked, the story itself did not change. My talented publisher, Jessica Bell, created a stunning cover, the pages were compiled and encased and… well, there was my book baby, ready to find its way in the world.
I’ve likened the process to giving birth, after a long period of nurturing and making it the best it can be. And then letting it go. Of course, unlike a living breathing baby, the book can do just fine on its own. Every reader will have their own opinion. Every reader will find their own truth via their own perspective. My memories will take on different meanings for different people. And there is nothing I can do about it.
Therein lies the magic of books. And my tummy flutter.
My story does not belong only to me, it belongs to “all the others” in the ways they see fit to understand it, from the perspectives of their own experiences. And that brings me to the source of my mind ramblings: memory.
At a recent book festival, I spoke to a middle-aged woman who has a story in her, but she believes she is up against her siblings and their memories of the same events which differ from hers. I suggested she write the book from all four perspectives: take the same event and let each sibling tell their story. It can be a puzzle that each can take turns putting pieces to and, hopefully, find the common parts that bring it all together. Or not.
My memories came to me in different ways by visual or auditory prompts: seeing the old homestead in Montabaur, or a comment that Aunt Sieglinde made. Others came to me seemingly out of nowhere, but they felt true. So from those pages and pages of notes I wrote scenes that replaced the flashes and images I initially remembered. And now every reader will inject their own understanding in order to visualize (if I have done my job right, anyway) the scenes and narratives.
Every book talks to us individually. Which is why book clubs are so popular—everyone gets to share their take. I’ve witnessed and even participated in some rowdy discussions, over a hot button that ignited thought and different perspectives. Ah, the magic of the written word.
Shifting thought gears a bit…
Thank you to all who came out to the book launch! Thank you especially to those who drove a distance: my BFFs from high school, friends from Jay’s hometown, as well as Orlando friends and locals. Everyone agreed it was a success and the venue was lovely. Thank you to Rachel with Back Porch Pizza and Pisces, and also to Jerome at Maggie’s Attic.
I hosted a giveaway on Goodreads and sent 3 lucky winners a signed copy of ILLEGITIMATE.
Currently I’m reading Map of a Heart, by Jacque Gorelick, and This Dream Life by Wendy Swift, both Vine Leaves Press authors. Look for my reviews coming soon, but both are impressive reads and have my recommendations.
On April 19th, Juels and I will be at Barrel of Books and Games for a signing from 1:00 to 3:00 at 403 N. Donnelly St. in Mount Dora. Stop in and say hi.
Speaking of book clubs; if you are part of one or are starting one, you may want to consider ILLEGITIMATE as a candidate. Let me know and I can provide a print copy to peruse.
And while I’m in the asking mode, reviews are highly welcomed, either on Goodreads or on Amazon.
Thanks for reading, I truly appreciate your time.
Maddie