The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I’ve been remiss—writing a blog in the month of January did not hold appeal for me. Partly because the plan is to energize my website, doing away with the ordered, old-school look that I once insisted on. Add a bit of pizzazz if you will. Stay tuned.

But also, dang it, I’ve been busy.

I’m back to writing essays like a fool who has important things to say. My Submittable account is full of new excitement. Much like holding lotto tickets: chances of winning are slim to none, (Thank you for sharing your story, it’s not a good fit right now) but the more I submit the greater my chances are of acceptance (Congratulations! We love your essay and will be publishing it…). Every day is one of exalted possibilities!

The highlight came a few days ago when I received one of those congratulatory emails for a heartfelt narrative about my relationship with my mother. “The Stranger” will be published in the inaugural anthology of Unleash Press, a part of the new Unleash Creatives conglomeration headed by Jen Knox, a writer, teaching coach, yoga, and meditation instructor, and now publisher. I’m impressed and delighted she loved my story.

On the other side of January, the news has been dark and scary, and no I’m not referring to the continued recent wave of COVID variant, although we continue to have that going for us; my husband experienced first-hand the effects of Omicron for about 7 days and said it was like a bad cold. (Now we have a variant of that coming at us) No, I’m referring to Russia’s new shenanigans. Tanks and nuclear weapons continue to amass at the border of Ukraine, while the former KGB trained Putin insists there is no call for concern. Indeed, even the citizens of Ukraine continue to go about their lives like not much is happening and Ukraine’s defense Ministry denies an invasion is imminent. The whole scene smacks of Hitler’s early invasions of Austria and Poland (as well as the return of the Sudetenland on the border of Czechoslovakia); all were expected to be appeasements to prevent actual war.

And we know what happened with that…

Also a few days ago, I received an email from my father that made my heart clench. At ninety-five, he is part of a dwindling number of WWII veterans, in his case one of Hitler’s teenage boys conscripted to the army. He fought on the beaches of Normandy, was wounded, and captured. He was one of the “lucky” ones; he eventually was sent to Belgium to work out his POW days as a farm helper (Europe had not enough workers to help with planting and harvesting, food supplies were slim and people were starving) and he has said he is thankful to have had food in his belly and a bed to sleep in. He also said he is thankful to “never have killed anyone.”

Yet, now, here is part of the email he sent:

What bothers me, however, is the problem with Ukraine. You are right, people are not capable of learning. The few contemporary witnesses of the last world war who still exist are probably haunted by the often terrible images of their memories, just like I am.  

Briefly my destiny: In 1943 at the age of 16 I was given the gray uniform. In 1944 I was badly wounded in Normandy on the invasion front and was in the hospital for a few months. On March 13, 1945, I was captured by the Americans in the Harz mountains, transported to Belgium, forced labor in the mines, finally half-starved to work on a farm in the Ardennes, where I slowly rediscovered my belief in the goodness of people. 

When the captivity ended, I was 21 years old. A completely bombed home awaited me, which I did not recognize. The parents who had been bombed out were staying with relatives in the country in a cowshed, my two brothers were dead, Karl in Russia, Erwin in France.

 Conclusion: This is war, not a special fate of that time!

Trauma coming back in memories and regret, fear and anxiety, visions of things best forgotten and things remembered that we all want to forget.

We cannot forget WWII and the lessons that were so clear after the dust settled. Fascism is gaining strong footholds throughout the world again. The possible reasons are for another writing. For now, let us stay vigilant. Let’s allow NATO to put fear into an egomaniac like Putin, and let’s hope he is just blowing big smelly ones to feed his sense of power. I just don’t think so. He is dipping his toe into the waters of possibility and will dive in if he thinks he can.